Blog Entry No.2

December 14, 2016; Wednesday
Forty-five minutes until midnight, then it’ll be 10 days before my favorite time of the year– Christmas Holiday!
These past few days I have been lazy and uncaring about law school, a part of me tells me that I should pursue and become a lawyer
if not great, maybe just even a good one. Being a lawyer has been a dream, started off from a classroom skit when I was in the 6th grade and now I am
here; the first step in taking the hardest exams–The Bar Exams. I’m sure taking that oath of upholding justice and all is a dream come true.
But still in the dark if whether I am for this field or not.

Traveling has been a passion for me — the salty blue water, the different textures of
sand mixed with pretty sea shells, the great orange sun, the tall palm trees for shade and the salty breeze;
the beach is such a sweet haven for me. The green pasture view on the side of the road when you go your trip via land and
sometimes catch the blend of red, orange and yellow colors of the sunset ’till the bright skies turn into a dark starry night or even as this big ball
of bright light shines up in the morning. Even to the typical walk around the city with your earphones on, while walking along with the beat you set on your playlist.
A simple stroll, unplugged from all the social media dramas and the endless pages of each cases assigned by the professors and just be one with the society.
It just feel so good to just see the bright blue skies and fluffy clouds, simple smiles from strangers and even the graffiti on the walls. These little things
I really enjoy doing, makes me feel more alive — as cliche as that sounds but that’s what I really feel when i get to do this. From these past few months, I’ve been doing
a bit of traveling; it maybe just a few unknown places here in the local but the feeling that you get to go wander from one place to another is priceless. You get to go to new places with friends and some important people in your life, the moment is irreplaceable.

But then when the semester started, I got locked in with the thick pages of law books and countless cases in SCRA. The mini heart attacks and cold sweats you feel every time the professors call for recitations — believe me it is not a good feeling. Every time the clock hits 5:30 P.M. you’re starting to doubt whether you’ve studied
enough and if you’re in the right place, that you are really for this. Even though you have studied all that are required for that day but still, you can always never be too confident because by whatever reason they always find ways to make you feel soo dumb (LOL). At the end of the day you got to congratulate yourself that you survived the three hour or more terror in the four corners of the classroom. It’s a fulfilling moment though, when you get to answer all of the questions thrown to you by your professor correctly, it’s like a taste
of what you would feel when you pass the bar — oh the simple joys! I also appreciate some of my professors who always motivate their students.
They make you feel that with hard work and determination you can make it, that you can be like them and maybe even more. Lawyers are sometimes stereotyped to have that boastful
character but indeed, don’t judge the book by its cover. They may seem to have these strong and always have their game face on look and have a very intimidating walk but
once you get to know them especially in the classroom, well, they may seem terrorizing in recitations and very serious on discussions but they also throw jokes
and funny opinions or statements every now and then — they are pretty cool people and completely human.These traits made me respect the law profession even more.

Thinking of it, is travelling just a hobby and a vacation every now and then will be the satisfaction for my cravings? That pursuing law school is what really what my future upholds and I’m wasting my time breathing adventures? Or law school isn’t really my calling that I can be more of a traveler and make money out of every adventure or a field work that’s a win-win situation for me that I could work and travel all at the same time? A lot of questions but running on 0% in answers.

As the midnight came, still I couldn’t decide to whether where I belong. Stuck in neutral, in a total grey area and couldn’t pick which side to choose or is there anything else to choose — choices that I couldn’t see.
Are my eyes half closed for not seeing the variety of choices or is it the battle between my heart and mind?

It’s a minute after midnight, time was so fast and couldn’t wait for me. Time left me undecided,
I guess it’s back to where I’m always good at — cover my worries with a smile and hide my fears and walk away.

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